April 09 Update: To Fret or Not to Fret

Moving... moving... moving...

Yesterday we were told that Jayna will be transferred sometime soon to a hospital in our own province, (we live in Quebec but she is presently at an Ottawa hospital). I will admit that when I first heard this, my heart sank. I began worrying over language issues, quality of care for Jayna, parking issues, and the list goes on. I started to panic and think of ways we could possibly persuade the medical team in Ottawa to let her remain there and forego the transfer. The issue was fast becoming a mountain in my mind until a bit later in the day after a conversation with my wise wife. Simply put, my response had been one of fear and not of faith and was an indicator that I had begun to put my trust in man. Over the course of the evening, and into this morning, I was able to work through this and come to a place again where I realize that wherever Jayna goes, whatever her care, at the risk of sounding cliche, God is in control. He knows where she will be, and He will be with her there as He's been with her everywhere else. Her Great Physician is a travelling doctor who will not leave her side. Considering that this travelling Doctor is the One who formed her inward parts and knit her together in her mother's womb, I'd say she's in pretty safe hands! My worrying won't accomplish anything but a little loss of hair pigment.

Around 2 months before this whole affair began Candy had been reading through the book of James in the Bible and the Holy Spirit impressed on her heart how important it was going to be for us to be patient and endure. That whole principal of patient endurance kept coming back to her and as she shared it with me I could really see that the Lord was speaking to us, though at the time we had no idea what was coming. Up to this point I've been sort of coasting along, but it has finally begun to sink in (I'm a little of a hard-boiled egg when it comes to learning life lessons), how much I need to rest in Jesus, and through prayer and quiet rest, allow Him to bear this burden rather than try to figure everything out and tackle it all on my own. In this way, I can be patient and endure this thing with joy and peace rather than anxiety.

So fast forward to this morning... Candy and I got up early, scarfed down a quick breakfast and left for the hospital as soon as we could, picking up my mom and sister along the way. We wanted to be there for Jayna's 11:00 handling time so Candy could hold her and try to introduce Jayna to nursing. When we arrived, we learned that the doctors had not done their rounds yet. This was great news for me as it meant we would be there for rounds, (our first time since she was born), and having the entire team there to answer our questions is an ideal situation. When the team of doctors arrived for rounds, who would be the Neonatologist on staff but a man we knew from a church we used to attend in Ottawa. In fact, I had taught his eldest son in children's church there! Though it had been 10 years since we'd seen him, he recognized us right away and we had a great update on Jayna's condition and detailed replies to our questions complete with video animation (he showed us on his iPad what Jayna's heart looks like). I felt so blessed to know that he was there, a Christian doctor taking care of my daughter. I was so encouraged by these things and knew that all of this had been orchestrated by the Lord. It's like the Lord was just putting an exclamation point on all that I'd been meditating on.

So Jayna is in a cot now, no more incubator or heated bed. Her O2 needs are still higher than they should be but they were able to reduce that again this morning after suctioning more goop out of her nasal passage. I guess she's still fighting this cold. Not surprising when you consider most of us take around 2 weeks to fight through a cold and WE  have fully developed immune systems. She has a slight heart murmur, but nothing of any concern. There's no plan for a repeat brain ultrasound until she's ready for discharge, and another x-ray of her chest yesterday turned up no sign of any lung issues. They will hold off transferring her to this other hospital until her oxygen needs stabilize. As of now it's day to day - they will decide each morning based on her condition whether or not the transfer will happen. This is fine with us. Again, we know who holds tomorrow!